"i'm gonna fist blast your sauce waffle" -corbin

Interesting looking lady wearing THE tightest yoga pants walks into the showroom at my shop. One of my techs- "you see the new jersey moose hoof on her?!"

"jump faster you little retard!" - darrion playing smash bros

coming up with inappropriate bob's burgers specials "the pork-ahontus with a geno-side of fries - sliced aged ham on top of ground raccoon patty with fries salted by a trail of cherokee tears." -lindsey

amazing. also, hilarious because i am currently watching pocahontas on tv lol!

"In cow, motherland Russia milk you!"

-corbin

"when you're drinking beer spiders can't hurt you" -lorenzo

"it's a russian roulette of one inch dicks" -squared photo darian

*in a sean connery accent* "amish anus omelette" -corbin

"I'd probably poop my pants if you touched my balls... poop button." -angel

"Look at this bitch, walking around with her fuck trophy." - My buddy landon in regards to this chick walking with a baby in a stroller

^lol best name for a baby

"if the suck sucks so bad that it sucks, then it's good suck." -dom

Driving out to the mountain bike park, passing a cow pasture:

aaron: "dang!!! That cow has some big ol' tiddies!!"

random conversation lead to a talk comparing techno to jazz.

Me: "It's basically the same thing."

Landon: "ya, jazz just has more sax appeal."

almost fell off my bike lol

“my sinuses keep plugging up and then sucking themselves weird.” -lindsey

“t rex? what? that's a donkey.” -corbin

This is some weird shit you guys say.

“what is the definition of a rock though?” -corbin

“i’ve been sleeping on my balls lately and I don’t know how to fix it.” -angel

Group of us drunk in Daytona

Hooker walks up and discloses some prices for services and inquires for our business

Clint "No thanks, but for 5 dollars can I lick that nipple?" *indicates to right boob which is just visible via bra-less white tank top

angel talking about aubrey plaza - "i'd spread her shit on my toes"