"I forgot about my other eye" girl in my bio taking vision test

brandon: so you don't care if you donate sperm and have your kids running around some where?

vtecjake: well what if you need an extra buck?

Having a nice dinner in SoCal and talking about marriage and shit.

"I proposed to my girlfriend.....................SYKE! I gotta buy a fender and XT7's still."
Joe

#realniggashit

angel - google that!
me - what?
angel - what titties are made out of

"fat pussy ain't real pussy." -angel

"party on the cream; cream on my face." -angel

"we should just plastic surgery my face to her ass." -angel

Max: ooh the water's chilly
Rus: eat it


Rus: what's that on the wall? The phone?
Me: that's a hair drier.

That shit looked nothing like a phone

hahaha fckn rus

Lindsey talking about our dog, "he has his own fur all over his face."

Lindsey when I brought her Taco Bell last night, "what is that drink? *takes sip* oh it's just regular balls." it was Pepsi.

"Like cars make me hornier than men do." -Corbin's waitress #2

"she wore the dick in the family." -dom

"Bitch I wanna see the monkey" Jason aka broson on tinder

Driving home from Disney:

"This is where we passed those trucks..... I passed those trucks, you guys didn't do shit"

-Codie (driving er'one else half asleep)

lolz

"i still taste your fucking finger salt in my mouth!" -angel

"can bones throb?" -Lindsey

"His hair looks like he was riding side saddle in a convertable." -Pete

"i've never met a 6 pound dick" -lindsey
"but did it meat you?" -me

"what's the difference between wheels and tires?" -dom's friend

When i think of good dicks, baked potato is not a shape.
Codie.

while he was talking about finger banging some chick..

"i always start with the ring finger." -yakov

some of the gems on the trip to final bout so far:

"can you get moist like a duck when you quack... aflack." -corbin

"ah fuck I broke my cheese!" -rus

"do dogs eat sandwiches?" -rus

talking about the US (geographically) and final bout:

max: pretty sure we were two-thirds across (US)

angel: no pretty sure we were more than halfway across

max: wut? two-thirds is more than halfway

LOLZ

angel playing destiny: "Fuck this guy. I don't want no purple sparkles."

"I'm too drunk to know that trees are green." -Lindsey

"Curiosity killed the cat? Wasn't it the monkey?... oh wait, that was curious George." -Rus

hhahaha fckn rus man, the best.

thats not a 'her" corbin haha. that might be a dude.

Me: So what would you call binary with 6's and 9's instead of 0's and 1's?
Ivan: Sex.

at twilight: "fucking color spectrum fuck sky." -angel

while showing rus my new wheels...

"looks good dood. you just need some tire shine" -tire shine god

Corbin: "when are you heading to the track tomorrow?"
Me: "early afternoon? 1 or 2."
C: "what?! that's like late afternoon!"
M: "uhh 1 is literally the first hour of the afternoon."
C: "no, 10am is like early afternoon."
M: "afternoon literally means after noon..."

I dunno if he's hiding paint secrets or just being Angel
IMG_4116 by joshg51, on Flickr

*talking about thanksgiving*
me: when is it this year?
angel: same as it's been for the last... 2004 years

hahah

"pancakes are like desert pizza" - rus

"I can't even make a hamburger... I suck with things." - corbin

angel: "can't tell if oprah or car."
corbin: "you mean opera?"
angel: "oh..."

Corbin: they're literally blurring out cat shit
Me: it's offensive
Corbin: what's offensive is I don't get to see her tits

"namaste? is that a jew word?" -angel

Baxter-"taco, stop eating your ass"

Lindsey-"if you could eat your own ass would you stop?"

Entire room-"......"

your sig covers that conversation perfectly too

after being off for two weeks, all the hangz, and celebrating new years with GLDSTR i feel like this should be updated. what happened?!

that's the problem. no one remembers the last two weeks hahaha

"i would ford a river to play with those titties." -ilia

lololol

when waiting an unreasonable amount of time for our drinks to come while at a bar, "what did they have to go break a tree to get the stuff?" -my mom

"waffle is love waffle is life" -nick

*watching a jack in the box commercial* "what does his face actually look like... jack's?" -angel

how i read this hahah

"have you ever tasted cloth" -Rus

"i thought sea lion was going to rhyme with pants!" - angel trying to rap