"Meat toobz" -everyone getting groceries for the bqq

endless amusement lol

angel "that was the worstest thing ever."
me: "worstest?"
angel: "SORRYY, most worst."

"Doesn't the gas station have them big ass cupcakes?"

reply- "nigga, those are muffins"

*talking about why dom's z32 is dumb*
"this car is a 5 pound sack and everything is a 50 pound potato." -corbin

"you can find anything made of dicks if you google hard enough." -lindsey

"Asians don't rape - what the fuck!" -angel

kinda forget who said what in this one:
"i feel like an old person in my body." -angel?
"i'll put a new person in your body." -rus?

"how did you beat my butthole thing?!" -lindsey

talking about wine, "it tastes like they made it to eat with desert... maybe that's because i just ate a cookie." -angel

angel says some weird ass shit.

that's why we keep him around

"hey look, that guy is shitting out wi-fi!" -lindsey

"poopitey-boobie" -corbin

angel - "my dad has a fucking rifle that probably has a musket attachment on it."
aaron - "you mean a bayonet?"
angel - "no, a musket. he old."

^for people that don't know guns, a rifle is a gun, a musket is also a gun, a bayonet is a sword that goes on the end of a gun, which would logically make sense, but instead angel claims his dad has a gun with a gun on it. YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE GUNS.

"young" sounds like someone tried to shoot a potato out of a pipe -angel

there are a lot of different fucking types of stores -corbin

maybe all the wine has just fucked my mouth -lindsey

"his-asshole-juicy-leaves-prints-on-windows" -corbin renaming my dog

"there's a lot to talk about when it comes to buttholes." -lindsey

"you made me shoot chicken out of my nose." -corbin

"grey dog" -Lindsey's cat according to Yakov

"he's the stability manager of scientific frequencies" -corbin

"they go the same speed but faster." -angel

"that thing came out of your pocket and into my hair." -lindsey

talking about shifting with an r154 transmission:
"it's like shoving a hotdog through a square tube" -corbin

"SEX SLAVES! ... it's ok to say sex slaves at the dinner table." -lindsey

"do you not know how my brain works... it doesn't." -corbin

fuckin angel doesn't get the point of free range chicken

hahahaha maybe he was thinking free RANCH chicken?

me: do you have a preference for which side?
corbin: i don't have a preference for anything - that's gay.

"i heard that out of the corner of my ear." -corbin

"what does that building want? (to the building) stop fucking looking at me!" -angel

This may be my favorite thread. Thank you max for keeping it alive. well, thanks angel and corbin too.

^lol mine too! always entertaining to read through the quotes when we're drunk hahaha

"if i were a girl and i turned 18 i'd say, 'tie my tubes, i'm being a slut.'" -angel

I call bullshit on anything that has my name after it in here. FRAMED!

rus: what do they call banana skin?
corbin: banana peel?
rus: oh. never mind.

"there's never a reason not to draw a dick." -rus

"you're a curdled cum clumped" -roy

"you put words together and make them a word" -chicago nic

max: "octapussies?"
corbin: "aren't they the ones that do their own thing?"

friend referring to his mom: "she's a relish tray lovin' ass bitch!"

^lol what does that even mean?

"he's the biggest hipster on the orthopedic planet of earth." -angel (who else?)

lol the abridged version is that we were talking about his mom potentially wanting to bang me, and that it would probably work out cuz she always has those party trays of pickles and olives and shit at the house, and i love pickles and olives. And apparently those trays are called relish trays lol..... just the usual drunken bonfire chat, you know lol.

lol

"that dildo would definitely float... physics!" -angel

I need to bookmark this page on my phone.... good ones happen all the time when im out, but i forget them within minutes lol

i just make a note in my phone if i can't post it right away. there have been a few times that i've woken up to find quotes i had no recollection of hahaha

thats a good idea

*walking through a graveyard in new orleans, drinking whiskey* "i think they would want us to enjoy ourselves... [speaking to someone's grave] i'm enjoying myself looking at your dead shit." -lindsey

we were watching tv and lindsey was talking about how the dude's mouth moved weirdly when he talked and then went, "if i were blind i'd have no idea what he's saying."

hahahaha both of those are fantastic. I keep forgetting all the ones i tell myself i'll remember. But just know that they were funny.

Mitch and I went to Red Lobster today. We walk in.

Mitch: "something about this place seems fishy."

Me and everyone in the waiting area died.

Max talking about going to "easy on I"(bar) but not for drinks.


Me- "if we go to easy on I then I'm definitely having a drink"

Max - "you can have a drink I'm just gonna make it weird"

"can you stop smashing your dog into me? *realizes what she said* i hate myself..." -lindsey

our dog sleeps between us and i was trying to get his fat ass to give me some space

"sometimes you gotta drug things before you do things to them" -lindsey

"if we all shit in one toilet we'd fill it to the brim." - rus

3 friends and I go to outback for dinner. we sit down at our table.

Chris: it smells like semen in this booth

the rest of us: "what the hell are you talking abou........ holy shit it does smell like cum!?"

was weird lol! waitress was less than thrilled..... first impressions hahahaha